[Game of Thrones] season 1 to 7 the ultimate recap

Game of Thrones Season 7

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Daenerys arrives in Westeros finally and breaks into her old family home at Dragonstone and Over at the twins Arya finally gets her revenge on House Frey for their antics at the red wedding and poisons them Well what she poisons all of them when people ask you what happened here Tells me the North remembers Tell them winter came for house free Dany then sends her allies the Dornish and the Greyjoy’s to attack King’s Landing, but their fleet is sunk by mad Uncle yer on the sexy pirate who captures Yara and Ilario sand and one of her daughters kills the other – Theon runs away Dany sends grey worm to take Casterly Rock, but the Lannisters are busy sucking Highgarden Murdering the pensioner who lives there and stealing all her valuables by this point. The mother of dragons is really fucked off So she rides her dragon drogon to burn up all the Lannisters on the gold road Jaime and Bronn managed to get the gold back to King’s Landing Barely escaping with their lives and Daenerys roasts the hell out of randyll Tarly and his son dick on Jack Aris In King’s Landing Euron presents ilaria and her daughter as prisoners in exchange for a marriage promise from Cersei Jaime does not approve. Does she like it gentle? Cersei poisons hilarious daughter and makes her watch then pays off her debt to the iron bank like a reckless student with a funkopop Addiction she then borrows more cash to pay for her mercenary army. Oh and she’s pregnant again, probably which is nice Jaime is the daddy the things they do for love Jon Snow goes to visit Dany on Dragonstone but refuses to bend the knee to her Danny lets her mine for dragonglass To kill the White Walkers and the pair slowly get cozy wasn’t the word I was thinking of what Danny is chuffed with a military victory, but Tyrion and Jon convince her to offer a truce with Cersei So they can fight the massive army of the undead coming down from the north Trouble is Cersei won’t believe them without proof So Jon tormented Jorah freshly cured from his greyscale by Sam Tarly the hound beric Dondarrion Thoris of mere MC Hammer maryberry Snoop Dogg and Gendry he’s back by the way all head up north to try and kidnap a zombie They grab a white baguette up, but everything goes a bit tits up But most of them end up marooned in the middle of a frozen lake while Gendry goes running back for help He makes it to the wall in record time Davos sends a raven to Daenerys She flies up to rescue them the night king kills one of her dragons and promptly resurrects it to fight for his army Uncle Benjen shows up randomly and dies all in the space of about five minutes At the end of the season the night king uses the undead versary and the dragon to smash a gap in the wall and march his army straight through Well all this is happening up north loads of people reunite in King’s Landing bran makes a few cock talks Come on, you can suck his magic cock later and all the main players meet in the dragon pit to discuss a truce Cersei doesn’t agree Tyrion talks around she does agree then reveals. She doesn’t agree and was lying. Anyway, the monsters kill each other while they battle in the north We take back the lands that belong to us and then what? And then we rule Jaime doesn’t like her lying So he leaves to fight the army of the Dead without her in Winterfell bran arrives home and starts being all Moody and emo Ari rides home too after a brief chat with ed sheeran hot pie and new Miriah and she reunites with Sansa Bran, just doesn’t seem bothered You came home Littlefinger tries to drive a wedge between the stark sisters But the pair secretly plot against Littlefinger and trick him into showing up at a trial at the gray hall the trials for him He’s guilty of being a scheming bastard and Arya execute him Finally after clearing up masses of shit in the Citadel and curing séjour of his greyscale Sam leaves with Gillian little Sam But not before discovering a rather interesting fact about Jon Snow His parents Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark were actually married which makes Jon Snow a legit Targaryen heir to the Iron Throne and nephew to Daenerys. Oh, well, at least he didn’t start having sex with his auntie Oh dear and now you’re all caught up on Game of Thrones and ready for season 8, he’s never been a bastard He’s the heir to the Iron Throne


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